Older posts will still be available at this site – but from here on out I will be posting at http://briankassie.wordpress.com.

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One of my latest goals has been simply to find “home” for myself and my family.  I don’t really have a hometown, my family moved from my teenage home the weekend I left for college, and Hannibal has always seemed just like a transition town.  Sure, I had friends and a church, and a house, but never really felt that “at home” feeling.

When we left for Uganda, I really was looking to find a place that felt like home.  I don’t know what that meant… at all. It’s actually a little funny that I was looking for a place to settle down in the jungles of Africa.  Wow, that was a mistake.

We loved Bundi, it is a beautiful place.  The World Harvest team was wonderful, and very hospitable to us.  We saw several houses that could have been ours and they were nice; more than livable.  I love shopping in markets and walking dirt roads, seeing green everywhere, eating fresh food.  And for my entire life I had envisioned myself as being a missionary in a place that looked just like Bundibugyo.  Oddly enough, the feeling that that was where we needed to be was completely lacking.

I came away from Africa with a lot of questions and feeling really confused.

“Why, God? Why did you take me away from my kids for 12 days just to tell me that this wasn’t the place we should go?”
“Why isn’t this the place?”
“What is wrong with us?”
“Are we even supposed to be missionaries?”
“Have we been listening to you at all?  Didn’t all the right doors open?!”
The answer to all those:  “Trust in Me alone.”

I’m starting to think that maybe God is using all these events in our lives to cause us to trust in him at a deeper level.  Nothing we thought was sure, was sure.  What we saw for ourselves and our future is not what God saw.

If nothing else, my eyes are opened now to how widespread the need for the Gospel is.  It is needed in the third world; but that isn’t the only place.  If that’s the one thing I’ve learned, it’s probably worth all the confusion.

Back to the dilemma of finding “home”.  We were on our way to Granada from Rome a little over two weeks ago and I was  listening to my ipod. A song came on called “Tanzania” by Alli Rogers.  I loved it first because it’s a song about being a mom, or just being a woman in two very different places (Chattanooga and Tanzania).  I loved it second because of this:

But someday I will wake
in a body that won’t break,
On ground that doesn’t shake, not here.
And someday I will live
in a house that’s built by
hands that hold the world

Why haven’t I found my home here?  Because it doesn’t exist.  I may have said it a million times, and maybe I’ll have to say it another million times, but my home is in heaven – with my Lord.  Not in this broken world.

Praise God!

But then, as soon as that desire overtook you, you remembered that nap-time would probably only last a few more minutes and you just wouldn’t have the time/attention/energy to whip up something heartfelt and tasty? And you really needed to get that last load of laundry in, or sweep the dining room floor, or just get a shower?

Here’s my solution:
I make a double batch of my FAVORITE cookies (this makes a lot of cookie dough) and bake a dozen or so for my family & put the rest of the dough in the fridge.  It will stay good for about two weeks. (I also put some in a container in the freezer for Brian to snack on.)
*I try to do this in a evening after the kids are in bed

It never fails that over the next two weeks people come to mind that “need” some freshly baked cookies.  And the great thing is – it only takes about 8-10 minutes.

So, when we have company – go to someone’s house – someone has a baby – someone is sick – you need to meet your neighbors… I don’t have an excuse.

It’s simple – but think about it… How many times could you have used a smile and some cookies?

Let me tell you what happened:

In November I tried the 5 O’Clock club for the first time.  It was really great for the first week. Then Malaki got really sick with Croup.  We were up repeatedly every night trying to calm his awful cough.  It was exhausting.  He was sick with that for a good month, then came Thanksgiving-Christmas and all the busyness that comes with the season.  I decided to try again in January – when things calmed down a bit.

So I tried again in January.  It was really good.  Then Cora started to cough and have a runny nose. Awesome.  A week later, Malaki had it too.  Cora had Bronchitis, and Malaki had Tonsilitis.  Neither of them have completely recovered.

Ah, and that brings us to March – and a failed 5 O’Clock Club attempt.

But, alas! I do not write this to disappoint or discourage you.  My failed attempt has helped me to see my own helplessness.  It has also encouraged me that I still have a desire to be in the Word and spend time in prayer.  It’s really been one of the best things that has happened to me (for my spiritual life) in a long time.

Here is what I am doing now:  I am trying to be a lot more productive during nap-time.  My “plan B” has become my “plan A.”  As soon as I get the kids down and quiet I turn on the monitor; clean up the kitchen; turn off the music; get a snack, a drink & my bible bag, and sit down.

The real challenge comes in sitting.  I need to have everything at my fingertips or I will get distracted and walk away… never to return.

Just wanted to give a little update and some encouragement.  It’s awesome if you can get up at 5am and not be useless all day!  I plan on it… someday.  BUT – this precious time does not have to be at 5am.  Anytime is a great time to seek the Lord. It has to be strategic, it’s not going to just happen (especially for moms of young kiddos).  I just encourage you to do it.  It will definitely be a blessing to you and your family.

Since we sent out our first newsletter, a lot has been changing around here.  Originally we were planning visits to Spain, Morocco, and Uganda in 2010.  Now we are just planning on going to Uganda.  The visit is coming up pretty soon.  We (Brian and I) will be gone April 1st-12th.

On this trip we are hoping to get some clear guidance from the Lord.  We really hope that Bundibugyo is the place for us to spend (at least a chunk of) our lives. But we’re also hoping to be able to gracefully bow out if the answer is no.

We will be meeting the team that World Harvest already has in place.  It’s exciting because we have been communicating via email and phone for several months and we will finally be face to face! It’s going to be pretty neat to see what life looks like for them.

The kiddos will be staying with my family while we are away.  It’s going to be really, really hard to leave them for so long.  But we know they will be in good hands.

Please pray for us as we come to mind.

This Christmas,  I got almost a complete makeover.  I got new hair, new clothes, new shoes, new makeup… Yes, I even went with my sister and got my bellybutton pierced.  It was a whirlwind; and a lot of fun – I must admit.

One of my favorite gifts I got from my parents was a pair of Ugg boots.  They are the real deal.  I couldn’t believe it.  I never even thought about owning a pair.  They fit perfectly; they keep my feet dry and warm during our cold, wet winters in Hannibal; they’re stylish… Yeah, they’re great.

And they made me completely miserable for the first week or two that I owned them.

Why? Well, I’ll tell you.  I didn’t want people to think I was silly, or frivolous, or ungodly, or materialistic. Because I know that people everywhere notice my shoes, and go through that entire thought process.

“I’m a 25 year old wife and mother of two.  I have no business wearing these things.  I look like a teenager.” (my thoughts)

Then I realized I was being silly.  My new boots were a gift from my parents.  They have been blessed and they LOVE to give gifts.  Instead of being thankful for warm, dry feet, I was feeling shame because I thought I seemed ungodly.

In my mind, you couldn’t love the Lord if you wore Uggs.  I think it’s safe to say that I was wrong.  God gives us all things to enjoy, but only Himself to worship.

So, I’m going to enjoy mu boots, be thankful to my parents for them, but most of all, be thankful to God, who gives all good gifts.

I’m also going to be fighting to kill that ugly seed of legalism that tells me that God my Father doesn’t want good things for his children.

The whole issue is in the heart.  What do you love more? The gift, or the giver, creator, sustainer of all things?

I checked my blog today and saw that I had nine visitors yesterday. (Yep, nine is actually a lot for this site!) And I have to apologize that I haven’t posted since January. (Sorry, Kurtis).

Well, life has been a little crazy.  We began our year doing a lot of traveling.  Southwest Missouri to Louisville. Back home to Hannibal, then to Davenport, IA. With a trip to St. Louis in there somewhere.  Then in January we took another trip to my parent’s house (SW MO), then another one in early February, and we have had company (which we love) just about every weekend we have been home…

Top that off with trying to sell this house: lots of showings (always seeming to be at naptime), and my kiddos coming down with Tonsillitis and Bronchitis (respectively) and you will result in no blog posts from this momma.

I’m going to give you a sneak peek.  (I know all nine of you are just drying for some news from the Phillips fam!)
I am working on these posts:

• Ouch!  What is that in my shoe?
• Uganda Update
• Look Around! God is Good, and Always Has Been!
• Malaki & Cora “Beat It”
• So, How’s That 5 O’Clock Thing Going?
• Just Some General Family Updates…

So, don’t give up on me just yet!

Haiti is the country where the Lord turned my heart irreversibly turned to missions. I loved the place, the people, the sights, even the smells…

This is why my heart gets heavier and heavier with every new piece of news I hear, and every picture I see of the recent earthquake in Haiti. About a week and a half ago I dreamed about Haiti all night.  It renewed my desire to pray for the country; I obviously didn’t know how much more Haiti would be in need of prayers right now.

It may seem like Haiti is a world away.  It’s not; it’s only a short plane ride from Miami. It may seem insignificant to us because we don’t know anyone there. but it shouldn’t.  It may not break us to see the pictures, but it should.

I challenge you to feel for the people of Haiti. Really feel for them; grieve for their losses and pain.  Because if we distance ourselves from them, we won’t pray for them and we won’t help them like we should.

• Mission to Haiti is an organization that I know and love.  If you feel led to give, please consider giving to them.  The website will let you know about all the things they do (short term trips, sponsorship, food distribution, well-digging, etc.) You can know that the money you send to them will be well spent.
  
• Here is another list of charitable organizations (from msnbc.com). I can’t vouch for them all, but it’s a start.
• Water is a huge need in Haiti right now (and always). You can donate to Water Missions International to help them respond to Haiti’s need.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
(Psalm 46: 1-3, 6&7)

*Facebook readers, you may need to click on “view original post” to access the links*

Ten Questions for the New Year – Don Whitney

1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What’s the most important way you will, by God’s grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

I’m working through the questions; and when I’m finished I’m going to use them as a bookmark in my bible. Hopefully that will keep me on top of things.

*You can read the original post here.
*I just saw that Brian posted the same thing on his blog.   Sorry for the repeat, but I think it’s worth re-posting.

We are getting ready to travel to Southwest Missouri, where my family lives.  After that, we are headed to Louisville to see Brian’s sister & her family.  After that, we are going to St. Louis to have lunch with some World Harvest representatives. And after that, we are going to Iowa for Brian’s grandmother’s Christmas.  We are about to be very, very busy. I made cookies yesterday, and it’s a good thing they travel well.

I’m feelin’ the crunch.

But I’m feeling festive too; it’s our Christmas Eve! Since Brian and I have been married, we have celebrated Christmas together on the morning before we go to visit our families.  So, Christmas is not always (only) on the 25th. This year we are celebrating on the 23rd.  I am so excited!  Brian left part of my Christmas present out on the counter last night and I couldn’t resist.  I brewed a pot of Starbucks Christmas Blend to bring on the Christmas Eve feeling. I should have waited, I know… but the temptation was just too strong. Oh, and it’s perfect with the afore mentioned cookies.

Today during naptime my goals are: finish this post, bake more cookies, shower, wrap presents, fill stockings, finish the laundry, and get the house in order. It’s a tall list, but my holiday spirit (and my Christmas Blend) may just carry me through it.

I’m looking back on this year, in awe of everything that has transpired: New baby, sold a house, joined Believers Church, bought a house, bought another house, planned on moving to Minneapolis, planned to stay in Hannibal, plan to pursue missions (for real)…

It’s been a year of planning, revising, & replanning… But I’m thankful for all the little ways (and the big ways) the Lord has led us this year.  Who knows what 2010 will bring, but I bet it will be exciting!

Please pray for us, when you think of us,  as we try to remain flexible to His plan.